I know in my life he has been very merciful!!! There have been so many instances where things could of turned out so much worse than they really did. Sometimes its easier to see all the junk that's buried on the gold. But how wonderful is it when we actually can see the gold? I need to be better at this principle!
Last night, I got an email from my attorney. In the email was the bill for the month. Man, to see that number sure did suck!!! This divorce has been the hardest thing i've ever had to go through. I feel like I have spent the last 7 months in a closet just trying to get out, breath and see the sun! Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy now!!! But I just feel stuck and there's nothing I can do about it. I've been separated for 7 months and yet I can't fully move forward because technically i'm still married and I don't want anything to fall back on me. The worst thing about all of this is that the divorce isn't even final yet and we're probably looking at another 2 months before it becomes final. Which means theres alot more money involved than there should really be. But we're not focusing on the JUNK now are we??
There is soooo much I can and should be grateful for....and believe me I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR ALL THESE THINGS!!!! I have the GREATEST family on earth!!! I didn't get pregnant through this whole ordeal! I can come home to a peaceful atmosphere. I don't have to put up with the abuse for the day. I have so many things I don't necessary need! I have the knowledge and testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ!! I'm a daughter of Heavenly Father, who reminds me daily he loves me and hears my prayers! I have enough clothes, makeup, shoes, and jewelry to last me a lifetime!! I have a job, which one day I'll have some money again! I have music to keep me upbeat about life! I have a nice and comfy king size bed, which I find myself in more than 10 hours a day!!! I have been able to experience so much in my lifetime!! There's just too much good things that are in my life, I can't name them all! I need to focus on the good things daily and just discard the bad things when they come!
I just want to say thank you to everybody that has come into my life! You have all taught me something! I know everything does happen for a reason and things work out. I have seen it so many times in my life and in others. I know this too will pass and one day I will be able to fully laugh at all of it!
On Sunday, it was a year ago that I thought I was marrying my best friend and starting a marriage!! Well, it didn't end the way I thought or hoped it would. But I guess that will help me to think next time! But at the same time, next week i'll be in the happiest place on earth!!! DISNEYLAND!!! Man, sure hope this week goes by fast! :)
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