My life has been full of moments that I don't ever want to take away. There are some experiences or lessons that I would never want to re-live but I'm glad I went through those times. I would of never become the woman I'm suppose to become.
This year has been the hardest time in my life. It would of been so much easier if I didn't have to experience it but then what. What would have I learned? What difference would I know? I'm finally at the point where I can say I have officially moved on. I'm glad i'm a strong person and now i'm even stronger.
Just in the last month, the clouds lifted and I saw the rainbow! The things that Brendon did to me are not excusable. Even though the marriage was short and brief, those moments, words, and even the way he touched me, always playback in my mind. There hasn't been a day that has past where I remember those things. I hate it!!! I literally wish I could erase that portion of my life forever. Even though what he did to me and how horrible he treated me...I've forgiven him. I feel sorry for him. He lost the best thing that EVeR happened to him and he doesn't even realize it. How can you not feel bad for him? But I can't live my life feeling bad for him or wondering what if I did something different. Leaving him was the BEsT thing I could of done for myself. And now i'm so so happy!!! FInaLLy!!!
I don't know what life has in store for me...but whatever it is I can't wait to embrace it. This last week some things have changed my life around. And even though its been a week...its been a great one. Sunday night I was just being myself...doing the same things i've been doing for quite some bit now. Then POP COMES THE WEE-ZEAL!!! I never expected him to come in my life and I sure as heck wasn't searching for him. But it happened. And i'm so grateful. He has taught me so much in just a weeks timing. NOW Now....before some people jump the horn on this. Don't worry its not that serious. We are obviously still working on figuring each other out and just having fun with one another. But i'm grateful for the time we've had with each other and getting to know each other better and oh the kisses...oh my gosh the kisses!! I hope there are more times that we'll be able to spend with each other. But i'm happy he came in my life when he did. I don't know what is going to come out of it and what the purpose behind it really is suppose to mean. But the way he treats me, the kindness, sincerity, and the way he touches me I know I needed to experience those feelings again. When I see he's face my heart pounds, my hands get a bit sweaty, and my nerves go CraZy!! And I love it!!! Having those feelings inside me makes me feel like i'm alive again. I appreciate him so much. He is an amazing man. And i'm lucky to be on his arm!!
Yes time will tell and even then...things happen for a reason!!! Thank you Marcus!!! For teaching me again. ;)
I love changes especially when there joyous changes.
Life is a joyous adventure!! Wanna join?
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