AWWWWWwwww.....

Yes Quazette always has told me I need my own camera crew to follow me around...I have to admit the life of Ashlie Gordon is super duper CRAZY!!!!  I'm not sure why my luck has completely turned on me but it seems like if something can go wrong, well it does!  

Disneyland was fun but the trip to California was not even worth it!!  I didn't know the group I was going with that much and I was mostly going just to get out of my dramatic life for a week.  Well next time, I'll think twice.  

When I went to California for spring break a year and a half ago, it was sooooo much fun!!  There were  4 girls and 9 or so guys...yes can you imagine how much fun we had!  Camping on the beach and going to six flags was really a blast!!  All of us got along and just went with it.  Ok and not to mention I had 2 guys I was really into so of course that helps!  It was just down to earth kind of fun!

 Spring Break 2010

Enjoying the awesome sunset with such a great guy, Matt Stokes!! I still love this kid to this day!  He is such a great friend! 

 

One of my favorite cousins!!  

 Carlstad, CA beach 2010

Yup he wanted to eat my face off!

Six Flags 2010

There are my 2 hotties...ok Shadow make that 3.

All my favorites minus Sonny!  Man why did I choose Brendon?  

Well....So i'm thinking oh this time will be fun too right?  Yeah, not so much!  There were 5 guys and 11 girls....and YES drama had followed me!!!  Now don't get me wrong I can get along with girls, but lets get real...REALLY?  Did you have to cry over that?  And really you expect me to sleep on this STD floor?  And really???  I mean these girls were so needy, emotional, and wow hanging all over the guys like that.  Could you have written in BOLD lettering DESPERATE on your forehead!?  YES Disneyland was so much fun and I loved every second of it...but outside of Disneyland just wasn't my cup of tea.  And then to top it all off, I hit something on the highway in Las Vegas and destroy poor Jet!!  He has been such a great trooper for me on all my crazy road trips this summer and now this is how he gets repaid?  He is still in Vegas trying to get repaired.  Oh how I miss Jet!!!  I can't wait for him to return back to me.  

So I survived the Disneyland trip and come home to Brendon doing oh NOTHING but a big pain in my toosch!!!  Still not divorce but seems like the cash flow is NEVER ending!!  Oh you want another $1000 well here ya go!  Well yes you can have $1500!  Oh and here is some more!!!  REALLY?  Yup that's the life of Ashlie Gordon!!  I hope somebody is envying it because i'm sure not!!!  

Maybe its me or maybe its mayballine...but I just feel like i'm on a different playing field than others.  I'm not sure if its because now I have a different outlook on life and i've been there done that type of attitude but people my age just don't interest me.  I'm completely fine with staying home and not hanging out with anybody now days...before you would of seriously had to KILL me to stay home for longer than 2 hours.    Everything happens for a reason!  

"tender mercies"

At the beginning of The Book of Mormon, Nephi's major goal is to show us the tender mercies of the Lord.  At the end of The Book of Mormon, Moroni hopes we have noticed how merciful the Lord has been unto his children.  

I know in my life he has been very merciful!!!  There have been so many instances where things could of turned out so much worse than they really did.  Sometimes its easier to see all the junk that's buried on the gold.  But how wonderful is it when we actually can see the gold?  I need to be better at this principle!  

Last night, I got an email from my attorney.  In the email was the bill for the month.  Man, to see that number sure did suck!!!  This divorce has been the hardest thing i've ever had to go through.  I feel like I have spent the last 7 months in a closet just trying to get out, breath and see the sun!    Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy now!!!  But I just feel stuck and there's nothing I can do about it.  I've been separated for 7 months and yet I can't fully move forward because technically i'm still married and I don't want anything to fall back on me.  The worst thing about all of this is that the divorce isn't even final yet and we're probably looking at another 2 months before it becomes final.  Which means theres alot more money involved than there should really be.  But we're not focusing on the JUNK now are we??

There is soooo much I can and should be grateful for....and believe me I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR ALL THESE THINGS!!!!  I have the GREATEST family on earth!!!  I didn't get pregnant through this whole ordeal!  I can come home to a peaceful atmosphere.  I don't have to put up with the abuse for the day.  I have so many things I don't necessary need!  I have the knowledge and testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ!!  I'm a daughter of Heavenly Father, who reminds me daily he loves me and hears my prayers!  I have enough clothes, makeup, shoes,  and jewelry to last me a lifetime!!  I have a job, which one day I'll have some money again!  I have music to keep me upbeat about life!  I have a nice and comfy king size bed, which I find myself in more than 10 hours a day!!!  I have been able to experience so much in my lifetime!!  There's just too much good things that are in my life, I can't name them all!  I need to focus on the good things daily and just discard the bad things when they come!  

I just want to say thank you to everybody that has come into my life!  You have all taught me something!  I know everything does happen for a reason and things work out.  I have seen it so many times in my life and in others.  I know this too will pass and one day I will be able to fully laugh at all of it!  

On Sunday, it was a year ago that I thought I was marrying my best friend and starting a marriage!!  Well, it didn't end the way I thought or hoped it would.  But I guess that will help me to think next time!  But at the same time, next week i'll be in the happiest place on earth!!!  DISNEYLAND!!!  Man, sure hope this week goes by fast!  :)

Traveling lady!!!

Hallo!  Wie gehts?  

WOW!!!  HAS IT REALLY BEEN 15 DAYS SINCE MY LAST POST?  I assume it has!!!

Well first and foremost, I want to make a shout out to my awesome and amazing cousin Tanner Robertson!!!  He is officially a Elder now.  He left for the MTC on August 27th.    We went down to New Harmony, UT to party one more time before he left.  I was able to go through the temple with him on August 22nd.  What an incredible moment that was!!!  It was such a special day for Tanner.  The St. George Temple was beautiful that day.  It was my first time in that temple and wow what a gorgeous  temple it is.  The spirit was so strong and beautiful that day!!!  

That following Sunday he spoke in sacrament and did an amazing job.  He is going to be such a great missionary!!!  Somebody came up to my uncle and said "It must be good to have him back"!!  LOL yup it was like he already knew so much!!!  I'm really excited for him to experience the next 2 years and then have him come home and tell me stories!!!  I love you Tan the man!! 

On Sunday night, my cousin Michonne and I had decided to drive to Vegas at 8pm.  LOL If you are asking if we are crazy...well YES we are!!!  When we were approaching the orange ocean, we had decided to go the the cosmopolitan club and show off our moves.  We promised each other we wouldn't back out.  We got to McCall's house, my cousin and Michonne's sister,  at about 10:30ish.  We let the dogs out and put our feet in the pool.  We looked at each other and said ok i'm tired!!!  LOL yeah well we ended up not going out!!!  We were so tired!!!  We went straight to bed.  The next day Michonne got a dramatic makeover!!! 

I love it!!!  Its so cute on her!!  She's always had such long and beautiful hair but now she is just as beautiful as before!!!  I love her!!!

We left vegas at 5 to head back home.  :(  Why does life have to be too short?  It seems like anything we do fun as to be cut short because of work!  So boring!!  LOL we got home at 1am and let me tell you how tired we were!!!  Poor Michonne had to drop me off in Syracuse and then head back south to Eagle Mountain!  Thanks chonne!!!  I had a blast with you,  and if it wasn't for you I would of never found my love for Rockstars!!!  mmmmm....yummy!!!

With a week of so much fun, traveling and no sleep from the previous night, I started a new job on Tuesday!!!  YES I'M A WORKING LADY AGAIN!!!!  It was exactly a month and 10 days that I was unemployed.  Not too shabby!!  I was able to enjoy myself and have fun.  Even though I slept so much I am  still so tired.  So i've come to the conclusion no matter what you do, you'll always be tired!!

I work for a Real Estate agent Remax/Metro in Layton.  I love being so close to work.  I can actually leave my house 10 minutes before and arrive on time.  The girls, Aubrey and Angela, are awesome girls.  Its always a little scary to walk into work and not knowing who you are going to be working with for the next couple of months or years.  I can relate with both of them and we have had so many great laughs already.  I hope they like me and I can only continue to progress and enhance on all the things they teach me.  Its been great!  I love my new boss, Kelly.  I forgot what a boss is suppose to be like. She's great and wants to know how we are doing.  Which is very important!  I think I will really enjoy it.  

Everything works out the way it should.  That last week at GRC I was really wondering how I was going to get through and then my last day I had it!  I would of never imagined the way I left would of turned out that way but I couldn't have done it one more day with no changes.  I walked out feeling so much better and relieved.   One of the best chooses I made.  Sometimes you just have to take a risk to find something better.  

On Friday, 6 of us headed down south to Orangeville.  Jettie was able to fit Michonne, Jodi, Leanna, Ricki, Chance and myself all in the car.  The ride going to Orangeville will be a memorable one for sure.  We had so much fun laughing and talking.  Our favorite thing to do was to have the music blasting and singing and dancing.  LOL good times!!!

We slept out under neath the stars and the boys picked on us.  I felt like I was in HS again.  We would get to sleep and then fireworks would go off or we would almost get back to sleep and the swing would start swinging.  ALL NIGHT LONG!!!!  We didn't get any sleep that night.  

We went to the lake the next day and went cliff jumping.  AWWW....I learned that i'm a chicken!!!  I'm not sure how people get the guts or balls to just jump off those cliffs.  I was terrified and only jumped once off a tine one!  LOL 

That night we got ready to cowboy it up at the RODEO!!!!  We all had so much fun!  The thing I love about going to Orangville is the country atmosphere of it all.  When we went to the rodeo, there wasn't a crowd and no wannabe cowboys.  Their all legit!  When you go in the city, there so many people and then their all fake.  The desertview rodeo was legit.  

After the rodeo they move us all over to the park and there is a dance.  I mostly just watched but it was fun to see all the people dancing and enjoying themselves.  I love small towns like Orangeville.  It makes me feel like I can do what ever I want when I want and not have to worry about getting in trouble.  I just love the worries I leave behind when I visit!

We came home on Sunday and had to start preparing for the week ahead of us.  I work Mon-Fri.  So I needed to get back into the groove of things.  

This week has been a bit boring because we have no tv anymore.  Mom and I have to be a little bit more creative with things to do.  We got our toes done on Wednesday.  I sure love when I get to feel like a girl again!! My toes are down and I put some purty lashes in.  

Yes I love them!!!  I was able to do them myself.  I really need to go to school so I can become a pro at this stuff.  

I think i'm going to wrap it up now.  9 more days til i'm at the happiest place on earth....DISNEYLAND!!!!

Oh its just hair and working lady!!

Since I left Brendon in February, I have been doing a lot of changes.  I went from having long dark hair to short blondie.  I want you to tell me which one you like the best.  Because I'm debating if I should cut it shorter or keep it the way it is.  Let me know.  I will number them and then you can write the number on my wall on FB.  Thanks!!!

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So let me know what you think, I would greatly appreciate it!!!  Thanks friends!!!

I got a phone call today from Remax offering me a position!!! That means I found myself a job!!!  After submitting my resume and going to dozens of interviews, I finally snagged myself another job!!  Such great news for the day!  I'm not sure what my technical job title is but I will be helping a real estate agent with his portfolio.  I'm excited to get back out there and have a life!!  Don't get me wrong I loved staying home and relaxing but it got boring.  I start on Tuesday.  YIPPY!!! :D

On the lighter note, I have an appointment with my attorney tomorrow morning discussing the stipulations of the divorce.  YES, stipulations!!!!  I'm so over being married!!!  I just want it to be final so I can be single again!  I don't even know what he would possibly want.  I have NOTHING and i'm not asking anything from him except what needs to be done 1) Brendon pays for my attorney 2) Get my name off his car loan and 3) pay for the cell phone cancellation fee.  That is it.  Its not like i'm asking for alimony or anything!  If he would of just took care of his car, I wouldn't of had to get an attorney.  But whatever, I suppose I will find out tomorrow morning what the deal is.  Hopefully i'll be single soon!!!  Everybody pray!!

Headband delight!

Went through my closet to see what clothes I could use for fabric to make a project.  Found this old shirt...and thought let's cut it up!

I cut   5 stripes of 2 inches. 

  

Stacked them on top of each other and sewed them together.

Tapped the top down to the table.

 Then started braiding the 5 strips together.  This was the 1st time I ever braided 5 strips.  So its not that great.

Then at the end I sewed it again. And got an extra piece of fabric to connect the top and bottom.  And voola!!!  A HEADBAND we got!!

 
SO CUTE!!!

17 Miracles

EXTRAORDINARY FILM!!!http://youtu.be/SResQFe35S8  

I went with my cousin Stacey to see 17 Miracles today.  There were so many trails and faith testing experiences the mormon pioneers went through.  I cried as I watched some of the tortures things they had to endure.  When I left the movie theater, there wasn't one trial i'm facing right now that could even compare with what they had to face.  If they can keep putting a foot forward and know that the gospel is true, then why can't I?  I know the gospel is true.  I myself have seen so many miracles come to pass.  I know if we do our very best and keep believing in Christ then all this will be worth it.  Just like the pioneers had said, "It will all be worth it".  This film will make you want to believe in yourself and give it your all.  

We may not have it all together but together we have it all

Life is full of interesting moments that have so much influence in your life.  Right now, i'm not even sure what i'm suppose to be doing.  I feel like I just graduated again and am still figuring it out.  Lately i'll get so disappointed with myself and just want to throw my hands up in the air.  I just wish there was a manuel or something that could help me with what i'm suppose to be doing.  

If you had asked me a year ago if I thought I would be completely lost, I would start laughing at you!  A year ago I thought I had it all figured out and that it would only get better.  Well here I am a year later and seem to have lost almost everything.  

I still have my family and that is the only thing that keeps me going.  When i'm with them, you can feel the energy, love, and support.  I don't want to seem like i'm whining or anything but right now i'm having a hard time.  Maybe its because my mom isn't home to lift my spirits up.  People look at my life and wish they had it or could be like me but its only because I make it seem wonderful.  I can hide a lot of things inside and come off like i'm tough.  But really i'm a complete mess inside.  

I would of never thought my life would of ended up this way.  I would never wish this upon anybody not even my worse enemy.  And yet I need to be thankful because its really not that bad of a deal.  But it still sucks!!  

When I'm with my family than I know i'm ok.  I have such a wonderful family.  I love how there is so many of us with so many qualities and personalities.  They teach me so much and make me really thankful that i'm in this family!!!  We have so much fun together.  And I know there is always somebody I can talk to or go and hang out with. 

 Right now, I don't have too many friends.  This is the first time in my life, i'm trying to deal with things completely by myself.  I've always had a huge group of friends and I dated so much that this whole new life of mine is something I'm not use to.  When I got married and moved down south, I kinda just lost touch of my friends.  When I did hang out with them after moving back, it was just too weird.  Its like i'm on the other side now and seeing this new perspective.  I now have walls and keep to myself more.  Before, I was such a free spirit, social butterfly, dare devil, risk taking kinda girl!!  I want that girl back!!  But will she ever come back?  

I need to have a routine.  For a month now, I've been sleeping in and going to bed late.  Going on trips that weren't planned.  Pretty much doing what I want to do when I want to do it.  I've been completely selfish!  A routine will help with the depression and will get me back on the path of happiness!  Nobody wants to be alone but if I keep doing what i'm doing i'm going to be alone for ever!!!  Only I can change that! Only I can change what I don't like about my life.  So here I am full of hope that next week will be productive and full of happiness!  Wish me luck!! :D